


anchor me (show me a mirror)

by fraternite



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-19 05:13:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11890758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fraternite/pseuds/fraternite
Summary: With no memory of what they're doing here, or who all the other people in this building (ship?) are, all they can do is wait for things to make sense.  They hope it happens soon.[set at the end of the Stolen Century]





	anchor me (show me a mirror)

_It'll be over soon . . ._

The words keep echoing in Magnus's head, and he doesn't know why. He can hear the voice of the person speaking them, rough and choked with tears, but when he tries to remember who it was, his brain fizzles out and he wakes up on the floor of a room (his room?) with a crushing headache.

So he stops trying to remember. When he sees a person in the hallway, he just smiles and waves and doesn't wonder whether he should know them. He stops trying to understand why he gets dizzy every time he looks out a window and realizes (again?) that he's hundreds of feet above the earth.

There's a gymnasium room. Every time his wanderings through hallways he forgets as soon as he passes through them bring him nearby, the familiar scent of sweat and iron weights draws him in, and he spends hours there, doing push-ups and squats, lifting weights until his muscles scream in pain. Here, things are easier, simpler. He knows what to do.

 

Taako doesn't know where he is or why he feels like his insides have been ripped out of him. The rooms are cold, with metal walls. There are other people here, but every time he runs into one of them in a hallway, it's like his eyes can't quite focus on them right. Maybe they talk to each other, but he walks away not remembering a single word of the conversation.

He checks himself every few hours for injuries, surprised every time to find his body whole and seemingly healthy underneath the soft red robe (it makes his head ache to look at it but he doesn't want to take it off). If he's fine, why does his chest ache? Why is it hard to breathe?

He sleeps a lot. Sleeping is unsettling because his dreams are full of static and screaming, but the weirdness is more acceptable in sleep than in waking life. He doesn't know where he's supposed to sleep, so he looks around until he finds a small room with a bed, a chest of drawers, and a sink. The blanket on the bed is the softest thing he's ever felt, next to the red robe.

The room must belong to someone, but Taako doesn't really give a shit. If they come back and get mad at him, he'll just try another room. Or--he's tired enough--he might just curl up in a closet or a cupboard somewhere. He's small. And he's always been good at finding hiding places where he'll be out of the way; you have to be when you're on your own as a little kid.

Something about the thought makes his stomach clench up and he staggers across the room he's found in to puke into the sink. That's weird.

He stares at the bed for a long time, then crawls underneath it, curling himself in a ball and hurtling into unconsciousness.

 

There are a lot of people here, and all of them are upset. He can't seem to keep track of them, even to count how many there are, but the one thing that's always the same is how broken they seem. They look almost as lost as Merle himself feels.

Merle tries to help them, even though none of them can tell him what the problem is. Sometimes they just stare at him blankly. Sometimes they run away. Sometimes they break down sobbing in his arms. He pats their hair and murmurs, "It's all right. It'll all be okay," trying to provide reassurance about problems he doesn't even understand.

One day he comes across a big man sprawled out on the floor in front of a window. Despite the hard metal underneath him, he looks comfy, lying there in the warm sun. Merle suddenly feels very tired. Just a few minutes won't hurt.

When he wakes up, the man is gone, and the sky is dark. Merle sits up, his spine cracking satisfyingly, and he sees someone else: A small figure, their silhouette faint against the starlight outside. They're standing in front of the window, staring up at the sky, and they're shaking like a leaf.

Merle moves slowly, taking care to shuffle his feet on the floor so the person knows he's there. He doesn't get any reaction, so he starts to talk as he approaches the person, soft and reassuring nonsense, like he's talking to an injured animal.

"Hey there . . . everything okay? Stars are pretty, uh . . . pretty awesome tonight, aren't they?"

The figure turns and the starlight glints on eyes wide with fright. It's a male gnome, and his face must look so familiar because his big nose and his bushy moustache are echoes of Merle's own.

"So . . ." Merle tries, "you wanna talk?"

But everything the man says is static in Merle's ears.

 

There's a woman. Magnus doesn't know if it's because he's met her before, or if it's just the confident way she stands, with her back ramrod-straight, but when he looks at her he's sure: She knows what's going on.

"What is this place?" he asks her.

She smiles gently. "This is a ship," she says, but she must have a foreign accent, because Magnus can't understand what she's told him. He tries another question.

"Why am I here?"

"I'm taking you to your new home," she tells him, and this, he understands.

"Oh." Magnus thinks hard for a few minutes. "Why did I have to leave my old home?" He can't remember much of it. A small village, a little cabin overflowing with kids and dogs. A canvas cot several inches narrower than his shoulders in a musty barracks. And then?

"You left your village seeking adventure."

And yes, that's right, isn't it? He remembers, now, setting out down the road, the gravel crunching under his boots, sweat already forming under the straps of his leather knapsack. Why is it that he can remember that day in such clear detail, but when he tries to think about where he slept last night, his brain goes all fuzzy?

"What will my new home be like?" he asks. He hopes--but doesn't say, out of politeness--that it'll be better than this place. That at least he'll be able to look at the walls without them crawling away.

A flash of sadness flits across her face before she sets it into calm competence again. "You're going to love it," she tells him. "It will be the perfect place for you. You're going to be so happy there."

"Will there be any dogs?"

 

Merle finds himself sitting on a beach, staring up at the sky, even though there's nothing there. He gives his neck a couple of good rolls and looks around.

His brain feels all tired and hazy, but in a good way, like he's just woken up from a long nap. Must have been a real good one, because he cannot for the life of him remember what he was doing before.

Before he has time to puzzle over that mystery, his attention is snagged by the sound of shrieking coming from up the beach. It's a handful of kids--dwarf kids, round and brown and stark naked--running in and out of the surf. Beyond them, he sees a collection of huts built from driftwood and palm fronds, decorated with braided seaweed and strings of shells and carved coconuts.

It stirs a sense-memory in him: Strands of seaweed slippery between his fingers, the hairy surfaces of coconuts. The taste of salt in his mouth.

He doesn't know where that came from, but it's okay, because he understands what it means: He belongs here.

Merle heaves himself to his feet, brushes the sand off his butt, and starts up the beach toward the houses.

 

People are leaving. Taako can't keep track of the people any more than he can remember a single room in the place or untangle the mess inside his own head, but he knows, faintly, that there used to be more people and now there aren't.

Sometimes a tall woman with dark skin and sad eyes takes him by the arm and leads him to a room with tables and chairs, where there is food. Sometimes there's another man there, hunched over a plate that looks like a doll's place setting in his big hands. Then, after a while, there isn't.

Taako is constantly hungry, almost as ravenous for food as he is for sleep, but the food is terrible. All of it tastes like death, and after a few bites he pushes the plate away and wanders off.

One day his steps bring him into a room with a stove and a refrigerator and cupboards full of pots and pans and seasonings. His hands move without his conscious direction, and he's chopping onions and tomatoes and peppers, simmering garlic, boiling water. As he watches, as if from a distance, a deep red sauce is created in the biggest pot--way too much sauce, enough to feed half a dozen people. He tastes it and it's perfect and it tastes like betrayal and love and something he's forgotten the name of. His cheeks are slick with tears and he doesn't know why.

He leaves the pot on the stove and walks away.

 

A woman with dark skin and tired eyes wakes him up. It's early, early in the morning, the sun just a sliver peeking over the mountains. Magnus groans and rolls over, pulling the pillow over his head. She tugs it away.

"Come on, Magnus, you have to get up." She says it with a smile in her voice, like she's said it a thousand times before, but when he squints up at her, her eyes are full of tears.

"How come?" he mumbles.

"We're here." She pulls him out of bed (she doesn't seem to mind that he slept naked, doesn't even seem surprised) and hands him a set of clothes. "At your new home."

She uses magic to float them down to the ground. It's only a few dozen yards, but Magnus can't help but clutch at her arm when he looks down and sees the earth so far below his feet. After they land, it takes him a few deep breaths before he he can speak.

"What's this place?" he asks her, when his stomach's back down in his gut where it belongs.

"It's called Raven's Roost."

He stares up at the pillars of stone, the network of bridges and cables strung between them. The houses and shops look like a doll's village, far overhead. He turns back to the woman. "Why'm I here?"

"Because this place will be perfect for you. There's a master craftsman here; I've set up an apprenticeship for you. But--between you and me--" she leans in close and whispers: "I don't think you'll stay an apprentice very long."

"So . . . I live here now."

"You live here now, Magnus."

"And you do too, right?"

"No," she says, sadly. "I'm moving on."

"No, you should stay." He doesn't know why it's so important to him; he doesn't even know her name. "Please?"

Her eyes are full of tears again. "I can't," she tells him. "I have--something I need to do. But when it's over, I'll come back. I promise, Magnus; it won't be for very long."

He shakes his head, but already she's propelling herself into the air. And in another minute, she's gone.

For a while, Magnus just stands there, watching the clouds drift across the sky. Then he works the crick out of his neck, wondering why he got so distracted.

As he starts up the path to Raven's Roost, a funny thought crosses his mind: He's going to like living up on the stone pillars, high among the clouds like a bird.

He wonders where the thought came from, then shakes it off.

 

After shuffling down empty hallways like a ghost for a long time, Taako sort of wakes up inside and finds himself ankle-deep in mud on a dumpy country road.

There's a carriage in front of him, painted in extravagant swirls of green and yellow and purple, and some of the swirls form his name, but he can't spare any attention now because someone is _trying to take his robe._

He hisses and snaps at them, and they jump back with a cry of surprise. Taako shrugs the robe back onto his shoulders and glares at the woman dangerously.

"It's mine," he says, and his voice cracks on the words. How long has it been since he's spoken?

"I'll just keep it safe for you for a little while," the woman tells him, but he shakes his head, wrapping the robe tighter and crossing his arms over his chest.

He doesn't even know why he's doing this; the robe is _terrible_. It's stained with gods-know-what, and the surface of the fabric is rough, as if it hasn't been washed in months. It's as filthy as the clothes Taako used to wear when he was a little kid, when there was no one to take care of him or--

The nausea crashes over him like a tsunami and he has to lean against the coach, eyes squeezed shut, and breathe shallow, careful breaths for a long time. When he straightens up, he realizes the woman has taken advantage of his distraction to slip the robe off his shoulders.

"Give it back," he says, and is dismayed to hear how his rusty voice wobbles like that of a scared little kid.

"You can't have it here, Taako," she tells him. "It'll just hurt you. You have to move on. I promise you, it's better this way."

He makes a shaky swipe at her, but she's faster than him, and his hand closes on empty air.

"I'll get it back to you just as soon as I can," she promises, from ten feet above his head. "It won't be long. And I swear to you, I'll find ***************"

Her voice dissolves into static and it mixes with the static in Taako's head and he's going to fall down he's going to fall apart

he's

He blinks and the roaring stops.

He's kneeling on the ground, which is stupid because it rained recently and the whole road is just a river of muck. He's going to have to change before anyone sees him.

Speaking of which, it's not right for him to keep such beauty hidden away in the woods. He needs to get moving if he wants to reach the next town before nightfall.

He vaults onto the seat of the carriage and activates the spell that makes it move. (No horses needed for a wizard like Taako!) As it rumbles along the rough path, Taako's stomach is quivering with anticipation for the days ahead. It's gonna be good, he knows it. In fact, he's determined that it will be; he'd swear on all the gods he knows, if he believed in any of them, that he won't let anyone or anything stand in the way of the success he deserves. He won't let anything make him feel sad or lonely and afraid ever again.

There's something weird, though, and it takes him a minute to realize there's water on his face. He glances anxiously up to the sky, but the gray cloud overhead looks like it's moving on quickly. Taako grins. He may have had his ups and downs in the past, but from here on out, it's up, up, up all the way for Taako. Because he's _Taako_ , he's the greatest wizard to ever live, he's the fucking _king_ of magical confection and cullinary prowess, and nothing is out of his reach!

And gods, he's _starving_.

 


End file.
